Starting a blog

how anxiety almost stopped me from starting a blog

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. I may earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you. ๐Ÿฉท

6 min read

this oneโ€™s differentโ€ฆ

Hey yโ€™all. Todayโ€™s blog post is a little different.

Usually, Iโ€™m coming on here with hair tutorials, restaurant reviews, funny story times, or just random life updatesโ€”but today I felt the need to talk. Like really talk. No aesthetics. Just me being honest with you guys ๐Ÿค

Starting a blog in 2023, right after I completed a course in digital and affiliate marketing – I officially dropped my very first post in July of 2024, and honestly? I had no idea where this was going to lead. I had ideas, sure. Dreams, absolutely. But a clear picture? Not at all. I just knew I wanted to do it.

That urge didnโ€™t come out of nowhere either. It came from yearsโ€”like YEARSโ€”of watching YouTube videos. Since about 2015, YouTube has been my comfort zone. Anything beauty related? I was locked in. Hair, makeup, lifestyle vlogsโ€”you name it. Watching creators live out their passion felt safe to me. Inspiring, but safe.

Because hereโ€™s the thingโ€ฆ starting a blog or even my own channel back then?

Absolutely not. Big fat no โŒ

How The Pink Scribble came to life


Starting a blog: The Dream I Was Too Scared to Touch

As much as I loved the idea of content creation, the courage just wasnโ€™t there. The lifestyle was cute to imagine, but actually doing it? I doubted myself more than I can even explain. For most of my life, fear and anxiety have had way too much control over the things I wanted for myselfโ€”and honestly, even things unrelated to this.

And all that did was keep me stuck.

Stuck in a comfort bubble so long that I convinced myself it was okay to stay there. I literally used to tell myself, โ€œGirl, itโ€™s fine. Just forget about it.โ€ But deep down, I knew it wasnโ€™t fine at all.

Whatโ€™s crazy is that while I wasnโ€™t brave enough to start a YouTube channel, I was brave enough to upgrade my real life. I moved out at a very young age. Took on my own responsibilities. Did grown-woman thingsโ€”by choice. That alone opened my eyes to the fact that maybeโ€ฆ just maybeโ€ฆ everything I was watching online could be my reality too.

It was never about wanting to be like anyone else. I didnโ€™t want their lives. I didnโ€™t want their things. I was passionate about the same things they were passionate about. Hair. Beauty. Creativity. Expression. But whewโ€ฆ the doubtful demon that lived in me? That thing never slept ๐Ÿ˜ญ

It was like, โ€œYeah, you can move outโ€ฆ but youโ€™re never starting that channel though.โ€


When Society Made Content Creation Feel Embarrassing

Back then, doing YouTube was frowned upon. Content creation wasnโ€™t taken seriously at all. If you werenโ€™t becoming a doctor or a lawyer, society basically labeled you as a nobody. And that mindset? It discouraged me more than I realized at the time.

That way of thinking stuck with me all the way up until 2023.

That was the year I finally had to look at myself and admit something uncomfortable: I wasnโ€™t living the life I truly wanted. I knew exactly what I wantedโ€”I was just too scared to go after it.

And one day I told myself, โ€œGirlโ€ฆ you have to change this.โ€

Not magically. Not overnight. Justโ€ฆ find a way.


Blogging Was My First Step (and My Safe Space)

So I did my research. I saved my money. I invested in a course to build my knowledge. And boomโ€”I launched my own website with my own blog. Was it YouTube? No. But it was a start. And for me, that was huge.

It came with ups and downs, but I did it. I succeeded. And once that was done, I had to ask myselfโ€ฆ what now?

Go viral tomorrow? Quit my day job? Live happily ever after? ๐Ÿ˜‚

In a perfect world, maybe. But nah lol.

I had to really sit with myself and decide what I wanted my blog to be. Beauty? Lifestyle? Something totally different? Eventually, I realizedโ€ฆ why does it have to be just one thing? Iโ€™m the creator. There are literally no rules.

And the more I got comfortable with blogging, the more I had to face a truth I was still trying to avoid.


The Truth I Didnโ€™t Want to Admit

YouTube was always the goal.

If Iโ€™m being completely honest, I chose blogging because it felt safer. I figured if I wrote about my life, people would gravitate toward it because I am funny, I do have random experiencesโ€”and FUN FACTโ€ฆ nobody could see me or judge me. Win-win. Mostly for me ๐Ÿ˜‚

And donโ€™t get me wrongโ€”I discovered that Iโ€™m actually pretty good at writing. I was finally doing something I always wanted to do. But something still felt missing. There was a void I couldnโ€™t explain.

Then one day, I was working on a painting. I planned to post it on TikTok only, but something told meโ€ฆ upload it to YouTube.

Not a perfect intro video. Not a โ€œget to know me.โ€ Just this one.

More of my story


Clicking Upload Through Fear

When I tell you I was scaredโ€ฆ whew. Scared doesnโ€™t even cover it. Something worse than fear came over me. But instead of overthinking, I just did it. I clicked upload.

And just like that, I posted a video on the ONE platform I had avoided for years because I was terrified of what people would think of me.

Within 2โ€“3 days, that video hit 67 views.

How to overcome anxiety

To some people, thatโ€™s nothing. To me? That was everything.

That moment gave me the motivation to finally start creating the content I had been wanting to create for so long. And the more I did it, the more I received. Motivation. Confidence. Opportunities.

I now have things I never thought Iโ€™d own. Iโ€™m doing things I only used to dream aboutโ€”all because I finally said NO to that doubtful demon.


Growth Comes With Loss Too

But while I was gaining, I was also losing.

Not everyone you think is your friend is meant to come with you. I truly believe some people like the idea of youโ€”but when itโ€™s time for you to evolve and finally be yourself, it somehow makes them uncomfortable. Suddenly, youโ€™ve โ€œchanged.โ€

Meanwhile, you supported them through every stage of their growth.

Itโ€™s important not to let that consume you. Because it can knock you completely off your hustle. People will talk. Theyโ€™ll provoke you. Theyโ€™ll project. But the goal is to stay focused.

I constantly ask God to remove anyone or anything from my life that doesnโ€™t serve meโ€”or Him. Because one thing Iโ€™m not bringing into this next chapter is negative energy. Iโ€™ve lived there. And Iโ€™m not going back.


Finally ๐Ÿค

Thatโ€™s my rant for today, guys.

If youโ€™re reading this and youโ€™ve been scared to startโ€ฆ start scared. Start messy. Start anyway. Enjoy today without worrying so much about tomorrow.

But be honestโ€ฆ whatโ€™s one thing youโ€™ve been overthinking for WAY too long? ๐Ÿ˜‚ Drop it below.

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