this one’s different…
Hey y’all. Today’s blog post is a little different.
Usually, I’m coming on here with hair tutorials, restaurant reviews, funny story times, or just random life updates—but today I felt the need to talk. Like really talk. No aesthetics. Just me being honest with you guys 🤍
I started my blog in 2023, right after I completed a course in digital and affiliate marketing. I officially dropped my very first post in July of 2024, and honestly? I had no idea where this was going to lead. I had ideas, sure. Dreams, absolutely. But a clear picture? Not at all. I just knew I wanted to do it.
That urge didn’t come out of nowhere either. It came from years—like YEARS—of watching YouTube videos. Since about 2015, YouTube has been my comfort zone. Anything beauty related? I was locked in. Hair, makeup, lifestyle vlogs—you name it. Watching creators live out their passion felt safe to me. Inspiring, but safe.
Because here’s the thing… starting my own channel back then?
Absolutely not. Big fat no ❌
The Dream I Was Too Scared to Touch
As much as I loved the idea of content creation, the courage just wasn’t there. The lifestyle was cute to imagine, but actually doing it? I doubted myself more than I can even explain. For most of my life, fear and anxiety have had way too much control over the things I wanted for myself—and honestly, even things unrelated to this.
And all that did was keep me stuck.
Stuck in a comfort bubble so long that I convinced myself it was okay to stay there. I literally used to tell myself, “Girl, it’s fine. Just forget about it.” But deep down, I knew it wasn’t fine at all.
What’s crazy is that while I wasn’t brave enough to start a YouTube channel, I was brave enough to upgrade my real life. I moved out at a very young age. Took on my own responsibilities. Did grown-woman things—by choice. That alone opened my eyes to the fact that maybe… just maybe… everything I was watching online could be my reality too.
It was never about wanting to be like anyone else. I didn’t want their lives. I didn’t want their things. I was passionate about the same things they were passionate about. Hair. Beauty. Creativity. Expression. But whew… the doubtful demon that lived in me? That thing never slept 😭
It was like, “Yeah, you can move out… but you’re never starting that channel though.”
When Society Made Dreams Feel Embarrassing
Back then, doing YouTube was frowned upon. Content creation wasn’t taken seriously at all. If you weren’t becoming a doctor or a lawyer, society basically labeled you as a nobody. And that mindset? It discouraged me more than I realized at the time.
That way of thinking stuck with me all the way up until 2023.
That was the year I finally had to look at myself and admit something uncomfortable: I wasn’t living the life I truly wanted. I knew exactly what I wanted—I was just too scared to go after it.
And one day I told myself, “Girl… you have to change this.”
Not magically. Not overnight. Just… find a way.
Blogging Was My First Step (and My Safe Space)
So I did my research. I saved my money. I invested in a course to build my knowledge. And boom—I launched my own website with my own blog. Was it YouTube? No. But it was a start. And for me, that was huge.
It came with ups and downs, but I did it. I succeeded. And once that was done, I had to ask myself… what now?
Go viral tomorrow? Quit my day job? Live happily ever after? 😂
In a perfect world, maybe. But nah lol.
I had to really sit with myself and decide what I wanted my blog to be. Beauty? Lifestyle? Something totally different? Eventually, I realized… why does it have to be just one thing? I’m the creator. There are literally no rules.
And the more I got comfortable with blogging, the more I had to face a truth I was still trying to avoid.
The Truth I Didn’t Want to Admit
YouTube was always the goal.
If I’m being completely honest, I chose blogging because it felt safer. I figured if I wrote about my life, people would gravitate toward it because I am funny, I do have random experiences—and FUN FACT… nobody could see me or judge me. Win-win. Mostly for me 😂
And don’t get me wrong—I discovered that I’m actually pretty good at writing. I was finally doing something I always wanted to do. But something still felt missing. There was a void I couldn’t explain.
Then one day, I was working on a painting. I planned to post it on TikTok only, but something told me… upload it to YouTube.
Not a perfect intro video. Not a “get to know me.” Just this one.
Clicking Upload Through Fear
When I tell you I was scared… whew. Scared doesn’t even cover it. Something worse than fear came over me. But instead of overthinking, I just did it. I clicked upload.
And just like that, I posted a video on the ONE platform I had avoided for years because I was terrified of what people would think of me.
Within 2–3 days, that video hit 67 views.
To some people, that’s nothing. To me? That was everything.
That moment gave me the motivation to finally start creating the content I had been wanting to create for so long. And the more I did it, the more I received. Motivation. Confidence. Opportunities.
I now have things I never thought I’d own. I’m doing things I only used to dream about—all because I finally said NO to that doubtful demon.
Growth Comes With Loss Too
But while I was gaining, I was also losing.
Not everyone you think is your friend is meant to come with you. I truly believe some people like the idea of you—but when it’s time for you to evolve and finally be yourself, it somehow makes them uncomfortable. Suddenly, you’ve “changed.”
Meanwhile, you supported them through every stage of their growth.
It’s important not to let that consume you. Because it can knock you completely off your hustle. People will talk. They’ll provoke you. They’ll project. But the goal is to stay focused.
I constantly ask God to remove anyone or anything from my life that doesn’t serve me—or Him. Because one thing I’m not bringing into this next chapter is negative energy. I’ve lived there. And I’m not going back.
Finally 🤍
That’s my rant for today, guys.
If you’re reading this and you’ve been scared to start… start scared. Start messy. Start anyway. Enjoy today without worrying so much about tomorrow.
But be honest… what’s one thing you’ve been overthinking for WAY too long? 😂 Drop it below.
